Nothing Remains The Same
by love-peace-choir-svu
Summary: First Fanfic! Olivia has been going through alot of changes lately how will she cope when the biggest one of all hits her. Who will she turn to for help? This doesn't make sense if you just read the first chapter... Please Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia walked into the squad room later than usual. She had been so tired lately like she needed an extra 12 hours of sleep a day. She'd had to drag herself out of bed today and still arrived 15 minutes late.

"Hey Olivia",Amaro called out to her. They'd been working together for months, yet he still felt new to her.

"Hey Amaro" she called back. "Have you gotten far on your DD-5's from our last case." This last case had been hard on every one, a serial rapist had gotten to 6 girls all between the ages of 7 and 11. But they'd gotten him. Thank goodness. Olivia had been taken down by the case more than usual. She'd Had no one to talk it out with. She had always been able to talk to someone. Before they broke it off David was happy to be that person. And before that she'd had Elliot. Now she felt alone. In the seven weeks since she and David had broken up every case had gotten to her in some way.

"You okay Liv?" she faintly recognized Fin calling out to her.

"Yeah I'm totally fine I just missed some crucial hours of sleep last night." She smiled.

"Ah yes" laughed munch" you know"-

"No we don't know and we wouldn't like to know so just stop now." Fin interrupted as Olivia looked on in amusement and stifled a yawn. Olivia could barely keep her head from sinking onto her desk as she sat intent on finishing her DD-5's. It was only 11 and there were no new cases, which meant paperwork. And lots of it she could only remember one time she had ever been free of paperwork and that was with her old partner, Elliot. She was then struck with tons of memories of them together; with Gitano, on those memorable porch steps, the dozens of times she'd visited him in a hospital room...

00000000000000000

"Olivia, Olivia, wake up", Fin called to her. Olivia suddenly realized that she was not in the hospital or on porch steps but in fact she was in the cribs. She'd came up right around 11:30 and it was now an hour and a half later.

"You said to wake you later plus Munch and Amaro are back with lunch." Fin said to a still very tired Olivia.

"Okay", was Olivia's simple answer. She leaned up on the small cot quickly and was surprised by the forcefulness of the dizziness that hit her. She lay back down for a few more seconds to allow it to pass. She didn't think much of it the same thing had happened to her this morning maybe it was her lack of sleep that was getting to her she thought as she made her way down stairs. When she got there she realized how hungry she really was and made her way to the other detectives who were distributing food from munch's

desk.

When she got there the smell of onions on munch's sandwich overpowered her it was disgusting. She ran from the room covering her nose and mouth and got to the rest room just in time to vomit in the toilet instead of the squad room floor. After she had stopped she started to wonder why it had even began no one else seemed to be sick, she didn't even feel horrible so she excluded the stomach flu. Olivia was weighing other options in her head until she realized that she was sitting on the bathroom floor and all her co-workers had seen her run to the restroom covering her mouth and nose. She got up slowly so as not to affect her already weak stomach and sense of balance. She washed her hands and began to wonder what everyone was thinking about her fast paced and dramatic exit. She would find out soon enough she thought as she dried her hands and mentally prepared to face a room full of detectives who had just witnessed her...she struggled to find a word that accurately described the scene that had unfolded before them just minutes ago. She stepped into the squad room trying to calm her wandering mind. She felt as if she couldn't keep her thoughts from jumping around the room. She was glad to see her sandwich and a ginger ale on her desk and the food

absent from munch's. She mouthed a silent 'thanks' to Amaro and got to work on finishing her DD-5's so she would be able to leave work before 6:00 and receive the sleep she so desperately needed.

00000000000000000

When 5:30 came she looked up to find the room empty of everyone except her and Nick. "So Liv" Nick struggled to break the ice, "What was that earlier?"

Olivia took small sips of ginger ale and tried to collect her thoughts. Amaro noticed her discomfort and walked around his desk to sit on hers. The Truth was that not even Olivia was fully aware of the events that had taken place earlier, had it really only been 30 minutes ago...

"Look Nick", she started, "I'm not sure what happened earlier but I am sure of this, I am exausted." As she finished her sentence she grabbed her coat and shut down the computer. She shot Nick a look that dared him to interrupt her plan to go home and rest.

"Okay", Nick said catching her hint and not taking the risk. "I'll talk to you tomorrow", he uttered as she was walking away. Now it was Olivia's turn to understand nicks veiled threat. She paused for a half second as she took this in. She would have to be prepared tomorrow. She picked up speed and headed to catch a cab home.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sorry it's been so long you guys… Read & Review**_

Olivia laid down on her couch tiredly, relieved that the work day was finally over. And wishing that the dizziness she had would be over soon too. She gulfed down the Chinese food she'd stopped for on her way home. She hadn't been this hungry in forever. She probed over that thought until she remembered that all she had eaten in the day was a muffin (which had later been thrown up) and half the sandwich munch had bought for lunch. She turned the tv on and continued to scarf down the Chinese.

The first thing that came on was the news. She flipped through the channels and found a show about an expecting mom. "She's so lucky" Olivia said to herself. For the short while that she and David were together they had never really brought the subject to the center of attention. But she had told David that she wanted them and that she hadn't wanted to wait long. She wondered if she would ever get to experience that type of happiness. It seemed so far out of reach now that she and David were broken up and she wasn't dating anyone new.

She missed him and wondered if he ever thought about her as well. She found it hard to focus her concentration on the show instead of…him. Before the commercial of the show came on there was a slide of fun facts about pregnancy and some symptoms. She read through the list while not fully acknowledging what she was reading.

She stopped dead in her tracks as the facts started to sink into her brain she couldn't help comparing the facts to the symptoms she had been experiencing for the last couple days. Extreme aversion to certain foods: she'd felt that when she smelled the onions on munch's sandwich today (just thinking of the smell made her stomach contract). Next on the list was extreme cravings for certain foods: after work she had had the cab driver drive an extra 15 minutes out of their way so she could grab food from her favorite Chinese place. After that came fatigue: which explained away the intense need for sleep that had appeared way before all her other symptoms. The last symptom that caught her eye was aches: she had chalked those up to her lack of sleep... "this isn't possible" she said aloud.

Suddenly, as if to contradict her, she found her stomach lurching again, violently. After she had finished vomiting she found herself brushing her teeth and wishing for answers, now. She thought her last pregnancy scare- in college the only reason she had made it through was because of the amount of support her sorority sisters had given her. She decided that that was what she needed now too. Support... support and a pregnancy test. She decided to call Alex to ask for help.

Alex had been at the bar with Casey for about half an hour when she started to feel her phone vibrating in her pocket. "Alexandra Cabot", she said into the receiver when she found it.

"Alex, I need your help I'm freaking out can you come over" Olivia said speaking so fast paced that even Alex found it hard to understand.

"Olivia", Alex said putting the phone on speaker and holding it in between her and Casey who had been looking at Alex curiously since she had picked up the phone. "Olivia you need to calm down. What's going on."

"I...I think I might be pregnant" Olivia stuttered.

There was one beat of silence over the phone before a simultaneous gasp between Alex and Casey could be heard by Olivia followed by hysterical giggling which could only be described by Olivia as fangirling to the fifth power.

The thought of Alex and Casey practically flipping out at a bar made Olivia join in, she laughed at their extreme excitement.

"When did you find this out", Alex asked in her always inquisitive manner.

"I.. I haven't yet", Olivia let out embarrassed, "Which is why I called..." She dragged the sentence out until Casey and Alex caught on.

"Pregnancy test", they both got the underlying meaning to her tone at the same time.

"We're on it Liv" Casey added while grabbing the phone from Alex and closing it at the same time.

"Let's go!" They exclaimed, jinxing each other again.

_**I know its kinda short… The next chapter should be interesting Alex and Casey and Olivia in the same room waiting on the results from a pregnancy test. I'm thinking of showing each of their thoughts and reactions from different POVs. I'm up for suggestions if y'all would like to give them. Season finale tonight! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey you guys sorry its been forever since I updated. **

••••••••••••••••••

I paced around my couch slowly as I waited on my two favorite A.D.A.'s. I considered Alex and Casey two of my closest friends. We'd been through hundreds of heart wrenching cases together. I had confided in them, argued with them, and I loved them both.

A knock on the door brought me back to the present, and the present didn't seem so great I didn't feel like the sure-footed detective that I had been before this happened. I opened the door to two excited, almost to the point of bouncing, A.D.A.'s.

"Liv?" Alex's extreme excitement waned as she looked me over.

"Hey you guys. I knew I could count on you two", I expressed trying to look at least half as excited as either of them. But all I felt was tired... Also a little out of control both mentally and emotionally. "I love you guys so much, thanks for being here for me."

"You're totally welcome." Alex responded to me as I wrapped my arms around both of them. I could feel my eyes getting watery and I didn't want them to see me as emotional so I held the hug a little longer than usual.

Alex pulled back first just as the first tears started to overflow, "Please don't cry Olivia".

"Go ahead and pee on the stick already", Casey joked.

I was happy to have an excuse to leave the room.

XXXXXX•••Alex•••XXXXXX

"Okay she has to be pregnant right?" Casey broke our silence as Olivia shut the bathroom door behind her.

"There's no way in hell our Olivia is that emotional without reason." I pointed out to her.

"Good point", Casey said curiously. She opened her mouth to say something and shut it again. I was just about to ask what it was when she continued. "So do you know who it could be?" she questioned.

"Who?" I asked a little confused.

Casey dropped her voice and whispered as if it was the most obvious question in the world," The father". Just then liv came out of the bathroom. She set the timer on three minutes and sat on the couch in between Casey and I. Her eyes looked as if she had continued her crying in the bathroom. I wondered if she had heard Casey's question through the door, Casey wasn't a very good whisperer.

XXXXXX •••Casey•••XXXXXX

"This will change everything, you know. Being ...pregnant." Olivia looked as if she couldn't believe the words that were being said, couldn't believe she was the one saying them;" Nothing will be the same."

"Nothing ever remains the same for long." I said with my first intention being to pacify her, it was after the sentence had been said that I realized just how true it was, that this baby would change everything. Hopefully for the better.

Olivia glanced at her watch, probably to check the amount of time the pregnancy test had left, and she gasped. "Crap", she said.

"What is it liv", Alex was the first to ask.

"David is coming over... I-I can't tell him yet", she stuttered while Alex and I struggled to regain our composure.

"What do you mean David is coming over, David Hayden, the guy you 'broke it off with'. Is he coming over to discuss a previous case?", and then I froze 'she couldn't tell him yet'. What couldn't she tell him, that he was the father of her child?

While I was working this situation out in my head it seemed as if Alex was leaps ahead of me. All she could choke out was, "Oh my god Liv".

Then there was a heavy knock on the door, Olivia and I both jumped. "That's him", Olivia said.

"We'll take care of it liv go to the bathroom or something", Alex volunteered us. Crap.

I opened the door slowly. David took a confused step back when he saw that it wasn't Olivia who met him at the door. "Casey, Alexandra", David greeted us distractedly while looking over our shoulders for Olivia, "Where is... Benson? I wanted to...review a case with her."

"She's sick the stomach flu is going around the precinct", Alex lied smoothly.

"Oh", David responded surprised," I hadn't heard. Is she okay", he said looking over our shoulders again.

"She's fine", I said. We stood silently for a moment. David looked at us doubtfully. DING. The kitchen timer Olivia had set for the pregnancy test went off making the three of us jump.

XXXXXX •••Olivia•••XXXXXX

I stifled a giggle as I spied on the three A.D.A.'s that stood at my door. Alex and Casey stood shoulder to shoulder blocking David's entrance into the apartment. All three jumped when the timer I set went off. The timer, the pregnancy test was done.

"The soup is done", I heard Alex say before muttering goodbye and closing the door.

"Tell liv to call me later", David yelled through the door. I didn't hear an answer from Alex or Casey

I held the test in my hand afraid to look down. I walked into the room where Alex and Casey were both waiting for me.

"What does it say", Alex and Casey asked at exactly the same time.

I took a deep breath before looking down, "Pregnant."

••••••••••••••••••

**Olivia is pregnant! With Hayden's baby! They feigned a break up! *collective gasp* **_**Review Please! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry its been forever you guys. R&R**

I stared at the test unbelieving. There it was on the small screen 'Pregnant'.

I had taken two just to be sure both said the same thing 'Pregnant'. I laughed internally at the absurdity of that thought me Olivia Benson 'Pregnant'.

"So what now", Casey said slowly.

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"What happens now?" she clarified. "What are you gonna do? Is David the father? Does he wanna be the father? Are you ready to be a mom?"

"Now is not the time for 20 questions Casey", i said. "Right now in this very moment i am happy, just let me be happy." i leaned back into the comfortable couch, closed my eyes, and placed my hands carefully over my belly. I smiled at the thought of a tiny baby inside me something I had always wanted. Then her words hit me, 'what happens now?' what am I going to do. I took my hands away from my stomach which, i noticed, was just slightly distended. 'I'm going to have a baby. I've always wanted kids but what about David.'

"You never talked about it with him", Alex said skeptically. I realized that I had been thinking aloud.

"Umm" I hesitated," No never".

"Speaking of David", Casey jumped into the conversation, "Liv what the hell is going on here?"

"Crap."

"Liv you had to have known this conversation was gonna be here sooner or later", Alex said her voice soothing me as she rubbed my arm gently.

"I was praying it would be later", i hinted for them to drop it.

"Are you still seeing him", Alex said while staring into my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak and she cut me off, "No we won't drop it."

"Fine", I said, "yes." They both looked unbelieving." I'm starving", I said while standing up. I looked through my refrigerator: nothing. But in one of the cabinets I found a box of crackers and a bottle of wine that I could no longer drink, even though I wanted to so badly.

"My goodness liv, is that all you have to eat", Casey said as I sat on the couch again.

"yep maybe I'll actually be able to keep it down."

"So", casey asked while I nibbled at the edges of a cracker," with David did you two split and make up or was the entire break up a sham?"

"We broke up at the restaurant like I said, but I didn't mention what happened the next day. I was tired after just getting home from work I was lounging on my couch when he showed up. He said we could make it work. His exact words to me were ' I don't care about the odds that are stacked against us we can make it work'. He told me to have a little faith. I laughed, because it sounded like a sappy scene from a romantic drama. But I did. I put my happiness and a little bit of faith first, and now I'm pregnant and i don't know what I'm going to to do", i started to sob leaning heavily on Alex's shoulder.

"Shhh liv. its gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine.", Alex tried soothing me again.

"I absolutely hate these freaking hormones", I sobbed into Alex's shoulder before gathering myself, my jumbled up feelings, and sobering up.

Alex and Casey giggled at my short burst of emotional confusion.

"I need to go", Casey said suddenly, "I have to be in front of the grand jury at 7:30."

"See you later Case", I mumbled.

"You're okay right?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm fine", I smiled.

"Bye Casey I'm gonna stay with liv for a little while", Alex said.

"Okay see you two later", Casey said shutting the door behind her.

I leaned into Alex's shoulder again and turned on the TV. The same tv show about pregnancy was still on. A note popped up on screen telling us that heartburn, morning sickness, and fatigue are three of the most common symptoms of pregnancy. I'm already experiencing morning sickness and fatigue if you added heartburn and other pregnancy symptoms I might break.

Alex noticed my silence. "what's up liv", she asked.

"Pregnancy has alot of symptoms."

"Yeah nine months worth", she smiled," Most women never experience every will be fine. You should get some sleep I will see you later."

"Thanks. For everything today."

"No problem. I'll talk with you tomorrow you should go to sleep. Oh and get food tomorrow. You should be well stocked for the little person inside you."

I laughed, " Will do. See you later Alex."

I walked into the precinct happier than I had felt in a long while. I was actually able to sleep for more than a couple hours last night. But I still had no idea what I was going to do for the next nine months and I was trying not to think about what I was going to do after the nine months were over.

"Wow Liv", I heard John say," You're glowing."

"Thanks Munch", I said smiling hugely, he was the third person to tell me that since I had entered the building.

I sat down at my desk to get some work done before we could have a huge case crash down on us. I didn't see casey when she entered the room but heard her greet Munch then make her way to sit on the edge of my desk.

"Hey Case", I smiled at her,"What's up."

"I brought you a muffin",she said quietly, "Blueberry. I suspected that you would not be able to change your routine that fast. You should eat a healthy breakfast liv. But of course to do that you have to actually have food in your apartment."

"I will go shopping soon", I told her before taking a huge bit of the muffin she'd handed me. "Delicious", I told her.

"Have you talked to Cragen yet", she almost whispered to me.

I sensed there was no point in lying to her and told her the truth, " No not yet".

"Do you at least plan on talking to him soon", she asked. "oh and Amaro too."

"Do I have to tell Amaro too?", liv whispered frantically.

"He's your partner liv. Of course you have to tell him."

"I guess you're right I have to let him know sometime. So Cragen, David, then Nick."

"Nice ordering, this part should go smoothly", Casey said offering a warm smile. "Cragen's office is empty, go ahead and tell him before some big case comes along."

"Okay I can do this, right", I asked, suddenly becoming unsure.

"Of course you can", Casey replied as I stood up to walk away from her.

This was it once I tell someone else there is no turning back. I played that over in my head a couple times before I knocked softly on the door.

"Come in."

**If you guys have any suggestions or requests as to how different people in the precinct would react to finding out about Liv's pregnancy, or how it would effect her job because of the conflict of interest thing, you should message me or something and I might be able to fit it in. 3 3 Reviews push me to update faster!**


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